“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party, and I attended with my real face.”

Franz Kafka

It’s easy to choose live a life that ascribes to the societal expectations of what is “good, normal, & true.”

Or is it easy?

From childhood, many of us were taught about achievement and accomplishment as if they were goals intended to be arrived at, a box to be checked. So many children in “AIG/gifted” programs have become adults who never feel fulfilled. So many others grow up feeling as if their “lack of excellence” means that their endeavors can only reach so far. No matter which end of the spectrum we come from, the lessons of life often play out like a zero-sum game.

Unable to understand where we went wrong, we instead do what humans do best: we endure. We take jobs that pay the bills, we go to therapy, we live lives that seem comfortable & numb all at the same time (yes, I’m referencing Pink Floyd and I make no apologies for it) and we are ever searching for the larger purpose.

Some of us have children, which fills the void of purpose for a long time, sometimes a lifetime. Others start business ventures that take off or fail without any real guarantee of the outcome. Adrenaline seeking. Philanthropy, writing, art, music, math, science… every idea that’s carefully studied & recorded, or masterpiece created is a desperate grasp at the ability to instill meaning in existence.

When I started at The Farm, I became quickly attuned to the messaging of how “the farm is healing” and “the farm calls people in.” Though I could see it in the eyes of the relaxed, departing guests and read it in the words of the Google reviews left online, something inside of me bristled at the thought of this place being able to “heal.” Like so many before me, I am someone that must suffer for my wisdom, and the hearing & seeing was not enough to convince me of the unseen truth that lay before me.

I once posed the question, “What are we healing people OF.” I still ask this question. What are we all “healing from” and why are we trying always trying to learn a way to cope with the hardness of life? It’s my firm opinion that the hardness of life is essential to the experience of life. To even begin to think that I have experiences that I should be “healing from” and not “LEARNING FROM” was, and still is, largely beyond my infantile comprehension.

One of my more regrettable habits is the one where I ask myself “what am I supposed to be learning right now.” It has obvious, positive, implications for a “productive life.” Self-analysis is critical for self-growth. However true and valuable my persistent self-analysis may be, that method too, is ignorant of the other half of the equation.

What’s the other half? Being fully present.

Humans need structure. We tell stories to make sense of the chaos that human life presents to each of us. We use math and science to measure and quantify the data around us, all to understand our “bigger pictures.” If structure is limited or doesn’t exist, we create it. A paradox, creating something out of nothing for the sheer purpose of having SOMETHING to ascribe to, is in and of itself a kind of nothingness.

So what does it mean to want/need to “heal” from your traumas?

My opinion (and let’s be honest, it’s likely a limited view…) is that as we have ascended “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs” pyramid, our fulfillment has diminished. From hunting-gathering humans, to ones that pontificate on matters such as dark-energy & left-handed cosmic duality… our energy once spent “surviving” and the grand fulfillment that such a task provided to us, has dissipated.

It’s funny how western and modern people travel into deep, ancient jungles to find Shamans & teachers to bestow wisdom upon their life, knowing full well that those people have surely never left the confines of their forgotten forests. We readily & repeatedly prioritize traveling, reading, education, open-mindedness, exploration, learning & activity far above STILLNESS.

What knowledge does the inert Shaman possess that one who has traveled the world and read 10,000 words does not?

I believe it is stillness & gratitude for what is and always will be. The great, Constant pushes and pulls of life & death, yin & yang, knowing & unknowing, rise & fall.

The Farm is not some “mystical healing oasis” because it has the best spa, or because it has the best food. Those things are magnificent, and are elements of human achievement that contribute to the appreciation we share for human creation and innovation… but that’s not what makes this place healing.

The Farm is healing because it FIGHTS being programmed. Through some innate and unknown ability, this place actively works against what people expect from a “boutique resort.” Someone visiting for the first time will call and inquire, forever asking “what is there TO DO at The Farm? What is there for kids? How far away is Asheville? Do you offer any classes or programming?”

This place denies users the tchotchke’s, accoutrements, & programmed activities (blinders… okay low blow there…) that “vacationers” have become so accustomed to. Sure, the homes are very lush.. but they’re not “cookie-cutter.” They each have a story to tell. The food is outstanding, but it’s not because of some unreasonable expectation set by management to hit a goal, it’s because of the passion from the staff & the local farmers that cultivate the food itself. The Spa, though it’s in a minefield of energy vortexes, would be no different than any other were it not for its flaws & the people who carefully & knowingly steward its very essence from their hands, into the minds & bodies of their clientele.

The Farm is the jungle. The forest. The desert. The home of a Shaman that’s wise enough to know the fundamental truth of simply being in the now.

For myself, healing is de-programming. De-quantifying. De-planning & de-understanding. It’s unimaginably difficult to be here, NOW. Surviving enough of life’s mysterious challenges will readily train you to live in anticipation of its next battle. Really, to be in a moment and have that be enough is unattainable to any modern person who regularly checks their email, social media, has self-inflicted goals to meet or deadlines from their boss. “Now” is an impossibility for most of us.

So come and stay with us. Stay in a very nice home or loft, eat a delicious meal, enjoy a spa treatment like none you’ve ever had…. Sit by a gorgeous pool & play pool in the amazing game room. Enjoy the design, the panache of The Farm. You should, and if that’s all that you do here, it’s a worthy & intentionally created experience that you will not soon forget.

All I ask, is that when the stillness begins to wash over you while you’re here, listen to it. Take your shoes off, sit by the river, and let the sun beat down on your face for a while. Follow your wandering mind to a place where it recognizes the paradox of infinite smallness and unfathomable meaning, that is lived in each and every breath that we take.

“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party, and I attended with my real face.”

Franz Kafka

Attend with your real face, & maybe you’ll change the world somehow. You surely will.